Apologies to the technical geek

They aren't hard to spot and in my current work-place there are many of them. I had a chance encounter with one of them yesterday, when he was asked to give us a presentation on the system architecture. Before the presentation I was told that he was a veteran of this product and knows things inside out.
He entered in the familiar geek attire. A formal shirt left hanging out over a pair of lose black trousers and a pair of slippers. He was confident during the presentation, though it was obvious he wasn't excited about it. The presentation was by all means okay, but it was when we started asking questions that things went haywire. He stuttered and stammered and left long pauses between his words. The answers were complicated and some how didn't appear to answer the questions that were put up. To say that the question and answer session wasn't fruitful, would be putting it mildly.
He sat with me again today, and I asked him almost the same questions as yesterday. But this time the answers came and I found it hard to hang on to his words. Every answer had so many questions to it and he had answers to them all. It was then I realised the stammering had nothing to do with not knowing answers. It was because he knew so much about everything, he couldn't decide how much to let us know. It is astounding to think that knowledge can be so overwhelming that it becomes a handicap.
My apologies to all technical geeks for our indifferent attitudes. I am fortunate to rub shoulders with each one of you and I know I am not even half as technologically gifted as you are. I share your workplace, I get paid the same salaries and even end up getting noticed by managers, just because I know the right things to say. Eventually I get noticed for being street-smart, the managers get promoted for the work you accomplished, our team becomes successful because you designed a flawless architecture, and the company is happy because it makes money. The truth is me, the manager, the team or the company are nothing without you. You are the reason we exist and have the opportunity of disillusioning ourselves into believing we are instrumental for success. My heartfelt apologies for our callousness and thanks for sticking up with us.

You're playing with the big boys now

It is hard to describe the Microsoft campus; you have to visit it to feel what it feels to be here. The first thing you notice is how far the colassal beast has gone to convey its identity as an IT giant. Everything about the campus is huge, and mostly extravagant. For the thousands of "intelligent" people brought under the same roof, this humbling experience is imperative.

Second thing you notice is the emphasis on individual freedom. Not only are you accepted for being yourself you are respected for that. And your growth as an individual in the organisation is entirely in your hands. Their psyche is pretty straight forward. They're providing you the infrastructure. It is upto you to decide how high you can go. Whether you carve a niche for yourself, outshine the others, or get lost in the crowd - it is for you to decide. And to be honest - I as an individual, am scared :)

DISNEY lyrics

A year of growing up.

So I am 24 now. The best thing about my birthday is that, due some weird kindergarten rule about admissions, I always end up being the youngest in the class. So by the time I turn a certain age, most my friends are already there. And since they don't explode, or suddenly start complaining of graying hair and muscle pains, it gives me enough courage to accept that life, for better or for worse, would continue being the same.

I wonder who came up with the idea of birthdays in the first place. If you think of it, besides your age, nothing really changes on your birthday. Obviously, the person who invented birthdays understood the human need to celebrate and also their need to be unique. So amidst the Holis and Diwalis and the new year's eve, this guy thought, how about giving each person a special day for celebration for himself. A day that becomes a part of his identity just like his name or his face. And the idea has been a success. Regardless of what I do on my birthday, I have a certain spring in my steps, a certain warmth in my smiles; because no matter how it turns out - it remains my day.

The past year has been a good year of growing up. I have seen a lot of highs and lows. I have been proud of my actions and ashamed of them. I have surpassed my expectations and disappointed myself. All in all, it was a year like a hindi masala movie that ended up having a generally happy ending. It is funny how my inner self feels so unchanged but has somehow evolved to give better advice over the year. In an attempt to enumerate the "learn" posts ,as I like to call them in life's journey (in no particular order), are:

• Lost my passport in a foreign land.
  
• My first break-up
  
• Relapsing into another relation and hurting a person.
  
• The biggest exam I failed after preparing for it.
  
• The biggest exam I cleared w/o preparing for it.
  
• Pattaya - night life.
  
• Working with (so-called) intelligent people
  
• Atrenta - ownership and accountability
  
• The dilemma of choice - and why success doesn't equate to happiness.
  
• Defeating an old enemy (CAT) and how perseverance pays (by buying you more time to fight it out!)
  
• Filling up unfavorable times with music and work
  

There are many more, but the above have been instrumental in evolving my psychology and shall play an important role in deciding my actions. Probably, working with "intelligent" people, has been the most important lesson this year. It has made me more confident about my abilities and as a result I feel more comfortable in asking for what I deserve - a major paradigm shift for me. I hope I have a longer list for the next year. Thank you God, for this life, for being consciously aware of how I am living it, and for being able to learn from it.