The theory of falling in love.

I've believed in it for quite a while.Thought I might as well share it. Here's how I think the process goes.

Phase 1: Attraction.
This is perhaps the most important step in the process. For guys it might be for every girl they meet(:P). For girls it may be more intricate and could be triggered due to good looks, intelligence, power, wealth, but there would be a cause nevertheless. I guess a very important factor is the X factor at this stage, the thing you think the other person has and want to find out moreabout. In most cases this phase lasts for a few hours of a good, long conversation. In this period either you realize that she is a babe with no brains or you move on to phase 2.
Phase 2: Exploration and Pretense.
This is a pretty phase in the relationship. In this period you see the person not for what he/she is but for what you want to think he/she is. Also, in this phase you try to be a more perfect person depending about the things you know about yourself. This phase may last for months in a teenage/first affair to weeks in other cases. For a mature couple this phase may not exceed more than a few hours. And most likely there would be little pretense and lots of exploration. It may sound like a fake phase, but I think it is actually the prettiest form of love away from reality and truth. And if they were to design an hoarding for selling love I am sure they would use snaps of a couple in this phase. Depending upon your enthusiasm for changing for the other person , you may grow and mature a lot as an individual in this phase.
Phase 3: Reality, problems and alternatives.
This is the phase where most of the relationships perish. It is like an elimination round in the process. Here you meet the actual person you've been dating for a while and since, by now you've grown comfortable with his/her feelings for you, you are not scared of speaking your mind about things. I think there are two opposing influences in affect at this stage.

· One is the growing boredom that creeps in as you get to know your partner's fallacies and eccentricities. This factor grows at different rates, depending upon the people involved, their lifestyles, their commitment to the relationship and the commitment to make it work.

· The other influence is the growing habit for your partner. He/she starts becoming an important part of your life and becomes essential for you decisions and thoughts. This factor grows at various rates depending upon the fundamental compatibility of individuals, their respect for each other's individuality and the time they get/try to spend together.

The output of this phase depends on which of the above two influences grows faster in the particular case. I don't know the length of this phase but for some people, I think it lasts for the entire lifetime :)
If influence one is stronger then the person looks for other alternatives, sometimes a single life if he/she is tired or otherwise he/she returns back to phase 1. Some people actually enjoy the journey from 1 to 3 (i) and back again. I personally don't understand nor appreciate these people. For cases when the second influence is overpowering it results in an endearing relationship with mutual respect and growth and sometimes it moves ahead to phase 4.
Phase 4: True love
This is the elusive true love. I don't know much about it, because I couldn't reach this far. It is when your mental image of a partner ceases to exist. Instead it becomes the other way round - your partner instead defines the image. And there is perfect bliss. I don't know people from this phase but I do know that a lot of people are in fact phase 3 (ii) but believe that they are in phase 4. Either ways I would call them lucky :)

Life is like that...

"I don't know how it is? I don't get what I like or i like what i do not get. "

All of us end up yearning for what we can't have. Please note I don't mean we don't get what we want. The two are different.

If you can somehow accept the above fact, so many things suddenly make more sense. You may argue and say "why would someone yearn for something he already has?' and thats where you misinterpret my point. Ofcourse no smartass would yearn for something he already has. I , on the other hand, am trying to state that the fundamental reason for wanting things often becomes their non-availability

Why else would a man yearn for a female's boobs? Thats the question that started this string of thought which has now ended in this path-finding insight into human existence. And there is no answer. No other species (unless Discovery and NatGeo channels choose not to show it) shows the same obsession for the female mammary glands. Its just men. We are like.. hide it from us and we'd like to see it.

It explains so many other points. Why we like intelligent girls (okay okay... i mean why we like voluptuous blondes)? Why do we yearn for money? Why we end up doing crazier things like climbing up everest, running 100 metres in 4 seconds, and such stuff. Its beautifully explained.. principle of demand a supply. Make the resource scarce and its demand will spike.

It explains why eternal love is the one that is never fulfilled. Thats because not getting what you want keeps you wanting it. Does it now make sense that in most of our love stories.. romeo and juliette, laila and majnu etc etc, the hero never gets the heroine. I am sure if they had met and not died, the pressure of living upto their hyped up love affair would have made them have miserable lives.

But this law is incomplete. It is equally difficult to get the first or the last rank in the race. Still, the first rank is coveted by all and last by none. Here I guess the law needs a slight ammendment. Okay here is the complete version:

All of us end up yearning for what we can't have easily!

Thats it!! If you make it difficult enought to get but not difficult enought to chase.. i will chase it